Today, I had to face some truths. If I’m being honest these truths have been staring me in the face for the last…five years. They have only really gotten giant and inescapable in the past year but the time is now, they refuse to be ignored any longer. They come in the form of anxiety, fear and hope, all of which I have more of than you could possibly know. The point of this post is to hopefully inspire you, set your fire, let you know that you aren’t alone, that there are plenty of people that don’t have it figured out, etc etc, you catch my drift.
I finish school this year. As in I finish my Bachlors Degree and I know, tons of people do this every day, tons of people graduate and go out and get a ‘grown up’ job. Well, those people aren’t me, and it terrifies me. I did it out of order, I went away to college but immediately got a job, (yes, I know people work to put themselves through college) but no one prepared me for how quickly you become an adult when you do that. I was lucky, and worked hard enough to land a job that became my ‘grown up’ job and suddenly my degree was secondary. I wasn’t working to get myself through, I was working and doing school and then I added another stone onto the pile and started writing. I wrote a book, it took me eight months and it was hard. I don’t know if it’ll amount to anything but it had to come out, it had to be typed out and it wouldn’t stop shouting at me until it did.
Now here comes the anxiety, as I said – I am finishing school this year.
So the question becomes, do I start a ‘career’ using my degree (Triple concentration of Criminal Justice, Psych and English) or do I stay at my job and write and hope that someday I can follow in the steps of some of my favorite people, Staci Hart, Harper Sloan, Kandi Steiner just to name a few. They worked hard to be able to write full time, and I have no doubt they struggled and worked harder than they ever had to before to get to where they are. They inspire me. I talked with my dad, I talked with my boyfriend and I listened to my heart and I came to my conclusion. I might not be using my degree per sey right this second, but I will stay where I’m at (which is a damn good place to be thank q) and I will write. I will write and write and tap out all the words I possibly can until my aspirations, goals and dreams are realized. I have to hustle, and hustle hard but it will be worth it. It wasn’t what I set out to do when I left home, but I know I can do this. It can be done, and so it shall.
My point of this ramble is that inspiration comes in many forms. It can come from your best friend, someone you admire, a Youtuber, a blogger, an author, a love interest. Today I listened to a Get Ready with Me Youtube by one of my fave beauty bloggers Laura Lee and she made my mind up even more. Invest in yourself, you only have you yourself and you at the end of the day so make sure you are putting in face time with your goals, work hard for what you want and tell the haters “BYE FELICIA”.